Loads of authors and artists want preserving their subsequent large venture beneath wraps till it’s prepared for launch. And that’s a smart resolution. I’m not very smart although. Plus, it’s not like you possibly can depend on what I say about my “subsequent” venture anyway, as a result of I carry on altering my thoughts.
The Etteilla Tarot Artwork Undertaking
Sure, theoretically and in my head I’m nonetheless engaged on the Etteilla Tarot deck. I haven’t made any progress since my final Etteilla replace although. I’ve accomplished 39 0f the 78 playing cards. So yeah, in regards to the midway level.
And that’s solely of the primary draft. As you may recall from my SKT project, after I “completed” the primary draft of all 80 playing cards, I all however went again and re-did most of them.
One cause why I’ve been stalling at this level is hilariously superstitious: I’m working out of “good” playing cards to attract. Yeah yeah yeah don’t get on about how there are not any good or unhealthy playing cards in tarot. I tow that social gathering line, too.
However simply discuss to any tarot artist and they’ll inform. you. Uh, however really there is such a factor as fortunate and unfortunate playing cards from an artist’s life expertise perspective. It’s like whenever you’re engaged on one of many tarot playing cards, life experiences are likely to replicate the which means and energies of that tarot card. And let me inform you quickly sufficient you begin to get superstitious and imagine in good vs. unhealthy playing cards.
And I’m dreading having to do a few of these not so fluffy-fun playing cards.
With the SKT, as a few of you witnesses, I used to be working at a reasonably fast tempo, so even whereas engaged on a “unhealthy” card, it’d solely be for a few days. However with my Etteilla deck, every card is taking me months. So if I begin a “unhealthy” card, it’s months of getting to take care of that card’s vitality!
The Tao Te Ching (& Wen Shi Zhen Jing)
I’ve additionally been translating and annotating the Tao Te Ching, plus doing the analysis on commentaries about the Tao Te Ching (TTC) from each dynasty by the millennia of Chinese language historical past, monitoring the evolution of how the textual content has been interpreted.
I feel certainly one of my private strengths is recognizing patterns, whether or not that was challenge recognizing on legislation faculty exams and authorized truth patterns, or it’s studying a variety of tarot playing cards, or it’s seeing notable sentence buildings and turns of phrase discovered within the Tao Te Ching that’s additionally discovered throughout the 5 Classics, together with the I Ching. (Oh, and a advantage of engaged on the TTC after the I Ching is clearly seeing all of the I Ching references and influences within the TTC. That’s been fairly cool.)
Recognizing patterns has utterly opened up one other dimension of understanding and context for the TTC. As a result of then you possibly can apply logical tautologies, synthesizing, say, each reference to wu wei 無為 within the textual content, or each reference to the myriad beings 萬物, or to stillness 靜, and even the Tao 道, and arrive at provocative realizations about these rules.
I’ve talked about the Wen Shi Zhen Jing here (also known as the Guan Yinzi), the legendary TTC-adjacent text purportedly written by the gatekeeper who received Laozi’s teachings, which then turned the Tao Te Ching textual content. There may be this implicit understanding that the TTC leans extra exoteric, whereas the Guan Yinzi leans esoteric.
In keeping with legend, the gatekeeper first helps to memorialize Laozi’s work, after which the gatekeeper himself achieves enlightenment from learning the Tao Te Ching, and after attaining enlightenment, writes the Wen Shi Zhen Jing.
Since each texts are pretty brief, it wouldn’t be insane to mix the 2 into one guide venture.
I haven’t fairly discovered what I wish to do with the ultimate work product. At this level I’m not eager on getting it historically revealed, until I’m in a position to retain full management, oversight, and veto energy over all elements of the design and manufacturing, full cease. I’m equally not enthused in regards to the prospects of personally placing within the work that it might require to independently publish such a guide.
The @#$%^&* Novel
And for individuals who already forgot that at some point I was writing a novel, yeah you’re not the one one; it’s like I forgot that, too. I imply. I nonetheless actually, actually wish to publish a novel and earn that fiction writing badge.
I like to jot down historic fiction, the place the plot is pushed by historically-documented folks and occasions, as factual as I can get it, after which the place there are holes in our historic documentation, that’s the place I get to fill within the plot with fantastical magical explanations.
However I discover that writing fiction requires extra psychological bandwidth from me than another sort of artistic venture. In order new shiny objects tantalize my magpie thoughts, the novel retains getting pushed down decrease and decrease on the duty record.
The Academic Movies
Switching gears, has anybody else seen a tonal shift with my YouTube channel? I don’t simply imply me and the subject material I’ve been importing about. I imply the feedback part.
The channel had saved at a gradual and regular progress price for 8 years, and over the course of 8 years, remained beneath 20K subscribers. After which out of nowhere, in simply the final 12 months, it shot as much as 40K subscribers.
The highest line graph above reveals that I used to be at only a bit over 20K as of final 12 months, 2023, and then you definitely see that sharp spike in 2024. The underside line graph above zooms in to 2024 for a better have a look at the spike. It jumped 12K in lower than 4 months. And I nonetheless haven’t fairly discovered why.
Oh, and yeah I do know, folks with YouTube channels are purported to faux like we don’t care about our numbers and feign a lofty lack of concern for such trivial issues. However I say it’s solely human to care; simply “center path” it, which means don’t care too a lot.
Additionally, for these of you with YouTube channels, too, you know the way within the YouTube dashboard there’s that part itemizing different channels your subscribers watch? For the longest time I knew each a kind of different channels as a result of they had been my buddies. Which means, this was a closely-knit on-line group. Now all of a sudden the whole record of different channels are names I don’t acknowledge or are big channels that I solely know of the way in which everyone else is aware of of them.
Positive, at first, as anybody else would, I did a little bit of an excited completely happy dance. It’s good to really feel seen. But it surely didn’t take lengthy for the bubble to burst and for one to comprehend the unfavorable unwanted effects of visibility.
It’s incomprehensibly profound how smart the center path strategy is in all issues. If you really feel such as you’re placing in a ton of effort and getting no recognition in return, it’s tough. If you’re mid-tier in recognition, you’re usually well-liked and spoken of extremely. That’s the candy spot. However whenever you’re perceived as being too seen and too talked about, for some cause that’s when the general public turns in opposition to you and now you’re over-hyped, you don’t deserve all the eye you’re getting, and other people choose aside your each flaw. Even fairly foreseeable typos are held up as proof optimistic that you simply don’t know what you’re speaking about.
Who I really feel like I’m speaking to after I submit a video has modified, too. As a substitute of making movies to share with a small, area of interest group of the same-old, same-old folks sitting in a circle in a well-lit room, now it looks like standing on a stage with a blinding highlight burning up the highest of your head. And after I look out to see who precisely I’m speaking to, I see nothing however void. It’s darkish and you may’t lock eyes with any acquainted faces. Oh, and also you simply know some individuals are there to dimension you up and down, eager on decoding the whole lot and something you say within the worst attainable approach, oh, and naturally, the energy of the evil eye intensifies exponentially whenever you begin to achieve extra publicity. The bigger your viewership, the extra hate-watchers you’ve got.
It’s rewarding when folks attain out to me or touch upon how my video content material has helped form their information and understanding of those subjects. However does that reward outweigh the negativity that being a content material creator exposes you to? I don’t know.
Being an optimistic individual is a privileged place, as a result of it means the folks in your life and your experiences have been usually optimistic, and since that which you’ve misplaced you’ve additionally regained, you possibly can see the glass as half-full. You see the glass as half-empty whenever you’ve needed to expertise true loss, with no restoration, no recompense for what you’ve suffered, and also you’ve had the misfortune of experiencing irreparably unfavorable social interactions. It’s solely the uncommon chicken who can face up to such misfortune and nonetheless be optimistic, and I do know myself nicely sufficient to know that I’m not the uncommon chicken.
My in-person actual life interactions have put me in a privileged place. It’s why I’ve retained my religion and hope in folks for so long as I’ve. And I wish to carry on having religion and hope. Generally I’m wondering if the repeated unfavorable on-line social interactions chip away at that optimism. Do I actually wish to stick round and threat erosion of that optimism?
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